Nathalie Ou

May 31, 20236 min read

Life Goals and Poker

More in Common Than You Think

Are you looking for a strategy to help you achieve your life goals? What if I told you that there's a way to do that, and it's inspired by the game of poker? That's right, in this article, we'll explore the similarities between life goals and poker strategies and show you how to use skills you may have learned at the poker table to achieve your life goals.

Each day, before the news, a 1-minute program about poker is aired featuring famous tournaments. Although I don't play, I know that poker requires strategy, patience, and the ability to read opponents. These same skills are important for achieving life goals.

Importance of Patience

Patience is essential in poker.

Similarly, resilience in the face of setbacks is crucial for achieving life goals. Patience is linked to greater life satisfaction and well-being, particularly in older adults. It's also critical in pursuing one's goals. Cultivating patience and embracing the journey towards our goals is crucial for success in life.

This is something I think I struggled with for a long time. As far as I remember I have always been like a kid who can't wait Christmas Day🎄. And when it came to food, I will burn my tongue more then once.

Of course my parents tried to teach the benefits of patience, and in the end they succeeded. I think as I was going towards my 20s I was actually improving my patience level a lot (been able to project myself on 1, 3, 5, 8 years goals). Of course, sometimes I was still a bit impatient and felt the need to take actions immediately. But I am very grateful for my parents for teaching me this life lesson.

Reading Opponents

I started my professional career as an International Commercial Buyer. My role was to source the products that my clients wanted. I was working with an international team: the sourcing was supported by a Chinese team in China, and my clients were Russian, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French, Polish, Ukrainian, etc.

In order to understand everyone, I would have to not only not just rely on their verbal language but also their body language and overall behaviour, attitudes, etc.

One of the very first lessons I learnt when I was in my early 20s was with Vassily, my Russian client. As he was walking through the aisles of the showroom I set up for him and the other clients, he was scanning the bar codes of the items without saying a word, and I was saying to myself aww, that must be awful, he probably doesn't like what I put together for him, it is a disaster.

Obviously I was observing that with my 'young professional eager to do a good job/ bubbly personality' lens. But it happened that he was going straight to the point, no chit-chatting about the items. He knew what he wanted and it turns out he loved what I put together, he was just not expressing it. He loved so much that he spent more than 1 million Euros. Not bad right? That day, not only did I do a great job, but I learned a great lesson too.

In poker, reading opponents is crucial.

This skill can also help you make better decisions and achieve your goals in life. Understanding human behavior is important as it allows us to navigate social situations more effectively, communicate more clearly, and avoid misunderstandings.

Knowing When to Fold

Knowing when to fold in poker is just as important as knowing when to stay in the game. In life, letting go of a goal or situation that is not serving you is a key skill in achieving your life goals. This is because holding onto unattainable goals can lead to negative feelings and prevent us from focusing on new opportunities (source). By acknowledging and accepting your emotions, reframing your perspective, and setting new goals, you can create a fulfilling and rewarding life.

Sometimes, it's okay to let go of a goal in life.

It's important to remember that this doesn't mean you're giving up. Instead, it means you're making a conscious decision to redirect your energy towards something that is more fulfilling and aligned with your values.

For example, a friend, who is a doctor, was only pursuing this career to please her parents, and not because it's what she truly wanted to do. She has been working towards this goal for a long time and lately it's been causing more stress and anxiety than fulfillment. It was even harder for her as during Covid period, she was not allowed to resign from the hospital where she worked. As soon as she was able to resign, she did it and started pursuing goals that she decided on her own terms.

Remember, it's important to prioritize your personal values and well-being when setting and pursuing goals.

Bankroll Management/Financial Management

In poker, bankroll management is crucial to longterm success. The same is true in life. Managing your finances and resources is essential to achieving your life goals. A study published in the Journal of Financial Planning found that effective financial management is linked to greater life satisfaction and well-being.

Here's an example of why financial management is key:

Let's say you have a goal to save up for a down payment on a house. Without effective financial management, it can be difficult to make progress towards this goal. You may find yourself overspending each month, struggling to pay bills on time, and unable to set aside money for savings.

On the other hand, if you create a budget, track your spending, and make a plan to save a certain amount each month, you'll be much more likely to achieve your goal. By managing your finances effectively, you can reduce stress and worry, and enjoy the satisfaction of achieving your financial goals.

PS: Let me know if you want any personal finance book suggestions 🤓📚📚

Seeking Opportunities

In poker, the best players are always looking for opportunities to gain an advantage. The same is true in life. Being open to new opportunities and experiences can help you achieve your goals. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who are open to new experiences are more likely to achieve personal growth and well-being.

Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, had the idea to create footless pantyhose and took risks to make it a reality. Despite rejection, she persisted and convinced a Neiman Marcus buyer to give her product a chance. Today, Spanx is a multi-million dollar company. Her story shows that seeking opportunities in life means being persistent, taking risks, and being open to new experiences.

Overcoming Obstacles/ ResilIence

In poker, players must overcome obstacles like bad cards and tough opponents. In life, we face obstacles like setbacks and failures. The key is to keep going and not give up on your goals. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, resilience in the face of setbacks is a key factor in achieving life goals.

Want to know more about resilience and mindset? Learn about this mindset ‘diet’.

Final Thoughts

The skills and strategies used in poker can also be applied to achieving your life goals. You don’t need to play poker of course, but improving your patience, reading people and situations, knowing when to let go, and financial management are all essential skills that can help you succeed both in poker and in life.

So, keep playing and keep pursuing your goals!

References:

FeldmanHall, O., Dunsmoor, J. E., Tompary, A., Hunter, L. E., & Phelps, E. A. (2016). Neural mechanisms of the influence of popularity on adolescent social preferences. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience, 11(5), 853-862.

Grable, J. E., Britt, S. L., & Cantrell, J. (2011). The relationship between financial satisfaction and measures of financial wellness. Journal of financial planning, 24(10), 58-67.

Kidd, C., & Castano, E. (2013). Reading literary fiction improves theory of mind. Science, 342(6156), 377-380.

Mischel, W., Shoda, Y., & Rodriguez, M. L. (1989). Delay of gratification in children. science, 244(4907), 933-938.

Ong, A. D., Bergeman, C. S., Bisconti, T. L., & Wallace, K. A. (2006). Psychological resilience, positive emotions, and successful adaptation to stress in later life. Journal of personality and social psychology, 91(4), 730.

Srivastava, S., Tamir, M., McGonigal, K. M., John, O. P., & Gross, J. J. (2009). The social costs of emotional suppression: A prospective study of the transition to college. Journal of personality and social psychology, 96(4), 883.

Wrosch, C., Bauer, I., & Scheier, M. F. (2013). Regret and quality of life across the adult life span: The influence of disengagement and available future goals. Psychology and aging, 28(2), 417.